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8 Scariest Comments Your Boss Can Make
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pacampbell
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pacampbell,
User Rank: Apprentice
10/30/2014 | 9:00:39 AM
8 Scariest Comments Your Boss Can Make
"Since you were the last one hired, you are the first one fired."  Or, "Do you have a minute?" 
Shane M. O'Neill
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Shane M. O'Neill,
User Rank: Author
10/30/2014 | 9:45:36 AM
Re: 8 Scariest Comments Your Boss Can Make
"Where were you?" is never a good thing to be asked.
David Wagner
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David Wagner,
User Rank: Strategist
10/30/2014 | 3:03:20 PM
Re: 8 Scariest Comments Your Boss Can Make
@Shane- Ha! Definitely not. Unless the answer was "I was out signing up a new billion dollar client" no answer is going to work there. What's interesting about the "where were you question" is that you don't know who was being unreasonable. You might have a boss who thinks he needs to sit on you, or you might be really terrible about knowing when that lunch was a bad idea. 
MemphisITDude
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MemphisITDude,
User Rank: Strategist
10/30/2014 | 10:24:46 AM
Beware of the "Special Projects" Department
During a reorg, hearing  "<insert name here> has been assigned to the new Special Projects department" means s/he probably won't be with the company much longer...

 
progman2000
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progman2000,
User Rank: Ninja
10/30/2014 | 11:38:34 AM
Re: Beware of the "Special Projects" Department
Funny, these all have the slant of the the employee being a hard worker, turning out great work and the boss being unreasonable.  I'm a manager and could make up a similar list of this I say to subordinates that is a direct reflection of how bad THEIR performance is.  
Somedude8
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Somedude8,
User Rank: Ninja
10/30/2014 | 11:58:00 AM
Re: Beware of the "Special Projects" Department
The article -is- about scary comments your boss can make.

However, I bet a 'scary comments your employee can make' would be at least as entertaining! I would definitely read that.
progman2000
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progman2000,
User Rank: Ninja
10/30/2014 | 12:01:24 PM
Re: Beware of the "Special Projects" Department
Yeah I know.  My point was that not all employees are stellar and can play the part of "boss oppressed".  Things I could easily say to prove case in point:

"So, your home computer doesn't get Facebook?"
Somedude8
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Somedude8,
User Rank: Ninja
10/30/2014 | 12:03:03 PM
Re: Beware of the "Special Projects" Department
"How many grandmothers do you have?"
progman2000
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progman2000,
User Rank: Ninja
10/30/2014 | 12:05:14 PM
Re: Beware of the "Special Projects" Department
"Why do we both drive through the same traffic yet one of us is always 20 minutes late to work?"
progman2000
IW Pick
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progman2000,
User Rank: Ninja
10/30/2014 | 12:05:42 PM
Re: Beware of the "Special Projects" Department
"Wake up"
David Wagner
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David Wagner,
User Rank: Strategist
10/30/2014 | 3:12:37 PM
Re: Beware of the "Special Projects" Department
@somedude- In deed, i have a planned sequel. Since it might not come out until November we might need to change it to things we're thankful our employees don't say" or something. But i definitely planned on turning the tables soon. 
Angelfuego
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Angelfuego,
User Rank: Ninja
10/31/2014 | 11:15:36 AM
Re: Beware of the "Special Projects" Department
I remember that one of my bosses said, "We no longer have a use for you. You can go home." It was one of my very first jobs as a cashier in a deli on my corner. I remember that I was crushed, but I think I wasn't moving the lines fast enough.
David Wagner
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David Wagner,
User Rank: Strategist
10/30/2014 | 3:05:23 PM
Re: Beware of the "Special Projects" Department
@memphisITDude- Oh, so true. Chances are good, you never want your name associated with anything "special." I do know one person, however, who sat under special assignment in a company for 15 years without any real job, but making serious pay. He was sort of forgotten. If your ego can take that sort of thing, it is a pretty good gig. 
freespiritny25
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freespiritny25,
User Rank: Ninja
10/30/2014 | 1:00:01 PM
Re: 8 Scariest Comments Your Boss Can Make
These are all very scary! I have been subjected to them all. The scariest is vacation...don't mess with my family vacay!
Yanda
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Yanda,
User Rank: Apprentice
10/30/2014 | 1:32:06 PM
Slides show articles
When I see "1 of 10", I look for "read as list". When that is missing I've learned it's best just to move on. When I'm bored I might take time to leave a comment first. :-)
impactnow
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impactnow,
User Rank: Author
10/30/2014 | 3:04:24 PM
The words get in the way ...of the truth!

Dave this was just hysterical--for anyone that has worked in corporate America it is the handbook of corporate euphemisms. My other favorite was "I have a great new opportunity for you" clarifications "This is the project no one wants" or "My boss gave me this project and I don't want it so you can do it!"

 

David Wagner
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David Wagner,
User Rank: Strategist
10/30/2014 | 3:09:26 PM
Re: The words get in the way ...of the truth!
@imapactnow- Thanks! glad you enjoyed it. Funny, there was a time when I thought I could make a living doing all the projects nobdy wanted to do. I thought if i could be the guy who picked up the trash, I'd be a hero. It doesn't turn out that way. i figured out later they don't want it because it isn't on the right path to success. 
impactnow
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impactnow,
User Rank: Author
10/31/2014 | 11:04:21 PM
Re: The words get in the way ...of the truth!

Dave sometimes that is the truth but I once picked up a project that no one wanted and turned it into hundreds of thousands of clients for a company. In my case most people were too afraid to take a risk, if the project failed it would have been the end of the job or career stagnation but if it succeeded it meant a promotion and other opportunities. In that case I was glad I took the project no one wanted.

Alison_Diana
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Alison_Diana,
User Rank: Author
11/3/2014 | 10:35:08 AM
Re: The words get in the way ...of the truth!
That's the best way to look at these words -- to turn them into an opportunity. Sure, it's easier said than done and sometimes we need to take the time to mope and recover from harsh words (whether or not there's truth to them). But if you can take a challenge and turn it into a victory, or take strong criticism and build on it (at that company or another organization), you win. 
PedroGonzales
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PedroGonzales,
User Rank: Ninja
11/3/2014 | 3:47:12 PM
Re: The words get in the way ...of the truth!
Yes. I know these words can be turn into an opportunity. An opportunity to find a new job or career if possible.  I prefer to lose a vacation than losing my job.  But, if I get fired with a really nice severance package then a long vacation sounds like an excellent idea for me.
kstaron
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kstaron,
User Rank: Ninja
10/30/2014 | 6:03:24 PM
about half
Oh my, I know someone that's heard over half of these and worse. Including 'it must be something you coded', when something blew up instead of the code the boss wrote with obvious mistakes. (Needless to say resumes are circulating.)

Now what can we do to make those phrases less scary? Other than having our skills up to date and a number of a headhunter?
David Wagner
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David Wagner,
User Rank: Strategist
10/30/2014 | 6:06:05 PM
Re: about half
@kstaron- I'd like to think some of these phrases, if repeatedly used, would get the attention of HR. In the real world, however, I think the best thing to do is look for another team in your company that might be run by more of a manager.

i should also say, sometime people deserve some of these. A good manager can use some of these as a last resort or as a special hammer. if you deserve it, the best thing to do is shape up. 
rradina
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rradina,
User Rank: Ninja
10/31/2014 | 2:24:56 PM
Re: about half
"... run by more of a manager"...

I'd rather have a leader vs. a manager.
vnewman2
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vnewman2,
User Rank: Ninja
10/31/2014 | 6:20:57 PM
Re: about half
@David - "We need to talk" or "I have to tell you something" is my pet peeve from anyone.  It opens the door for your imagination to run wild.  I always wondered why people wouldn't just spit it out.  The warning really just announces that it's bad news.
asksqn
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asksqn,
User Rank: Ninja
10/30/2014 | 10:28:59 PM
Free yourself from the tyranny of corporate employment
All of which is exactly why if you can be your own boss, then you should!
bcodezinfo2
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bcodezinfo2,
User Rank: Apprentice
1/5/2017 | 12:44:25 AM
Re: Free yourself from the tyranny of corporate employment
Not everyone can be. Only few can be their own boss.
db
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db,
User Rank: Apprentice
10/31/2014 | 9:50:17 AM
Another POV for "I don't have time to talk!"
"I don't have time to talk/meet.", followed by "I don't know what you people are doing."
mejiac
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mejiac,
User Rank: Ninja
10/31/2014 | 1:02:11 PM
Re: Another POV for "I don't have time to talk!"
@db,

Yep....heard that one...and it makes you feel so "good".

I've always asked myself what exactly is going through the Boss's mind that they say such things... I can only imagine that either they're the type of person that if they don't actually "see" something happening they think there's no progress...or they have ADD :)
tekedge
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tekedge,
User Rank: Moderator
10/31/2014 | 12:21:55 PM
Scariest!
Can I see you in my office real quick....


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