Talk Nerdy To Me: 10 Geeky Pickup Lines - InformationWeek

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9/2/2014
10:06 AM
Shane O'Neill
Shane O'Neill
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Talk Nerdy To Me: 10 Geeky Pickup Lines

Bachelors and bachelorettes of IT, don't be afraid to use your tech smarts to break the ice.

We know you love to geek out with Hadoop clusters and Docker containers, and you could talk all day about HTML5. But should you tone down the tech talk while on the singles scene?

Hell, no. Stay SaaSy, my friends.

Though Hadoop is probably too obscure for happy hour, don't hold back your IT acumen. Tech terminology is part of the mainstream conversation in most urban areas. Better yet, it contains the kind of wordplay and innuendo that's perfect for flirting. Just saying "dongle" or "hard drive" makes people laugh.

[A Valentine's Day guide for techies and those who used to love them. Read 10 Signs Your Geek Lost That Loving Feeling]

Here are 10 tech-themed pickup lines -- some salty, some sweet, but all with the potential to spark a love connection.

10. You can unzip my files anytime.

9. If you were a browser, you'd be called FireFoxy.

8. Who needs Google? You're everything I'm searching for. (Awwwww)

7. How about later we do some peer-to-peer sharing? Your domain or mine?

6. This place must have free WiFi, cause I'm feeling a connection.

5. Whew! You're hotter than a data center with an old school cooling system.

4. Yes, that's a Galaxy S5 in my pocket, but I'm also glad to see you.

3. Do you wanna play Words With Friends With Benefits?

2. If you were a cloud platform, you'd be HaaS -- hottie-as-a-service.

1. You. Auto-Complete. Me.

Give these a try, and let me know how it goes. Any others you'd like to share? Leave them in the comment section -- and try to keep it clean. ;)

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Shane O'Neill is Managing Editor for InformationWeek. Prior to joining InformationWeek, he served in various roles at CIO.com, most notably as assistant managing editor and senior writer covering Microsoft. He has also been an editor and writer at eWeek and TechTarget. ... View Full Bio
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Shane M. O'Neill
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Shane M. O'Neill,
User Rank: Author
9/25/2014 | 3:47:47 PM
Re: Even if it's bad it's good
@TerryB I've never heard the "would you hold it against me?" line before but it's a funny one. All of these lines have to be delivered light-heartedly as jokes to break the ice. Take them seriously for a second and you're cooked.
Susan_Nunziata
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Susan_Nunziata,
User Rank: Strategist
9/4/2014 | 3:53:42 PM
Re: Even if it's bad it's good
@Pedro: Humor is always appreciated, as long as it's not rude. True pickup lines never really work. At least not with me, or any of my female friends or colleagues.

I met my husband the old fashioned way. We were at a party thrown by mutual friends but we had never met before. He walked up to me and said, "Hi my name is Dave, would you like to dance?"

My advice to the single guys: keep it simple, and respectful! 

 
Susan_Nunziata
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Susan_Nunziata,
User Rank: Strategist
9/4/2014 | 3:48:39 PM
Re: Even if it's bad it's good
@TerryB: Haha! good point. And, at least for me and all my female friends, no pickup line ever works, though that fact doesn't seem to deter some men from trying them all the time. 

Of course, I'd much prefer a cheesy pickup line to downright disrespect.

True story: I was at a (male dominated) tech conference about 3 years back and enjoying a drink at the hotel bar with some (male) colleagues when a complete stranger, who was apparently a conference attendee, approached me and said "My name is <insert name>. Want to come up to my room and <insert four-letter word for intercourse>?"

Talk about wanting to use the pepper spray!
TerryB
IW Pick
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TerryB,
User Rank: Ninja
9/4/2014 | 2:02:00 PM
Re: Even if it's bad it's good
@Susan, I think you are the rare type of woman that would understand most of those lines. I can see a lot blank stares back from most females before they reach for the pepper spray.

Has any pickup line ever worked on any woman, IT or not? If they do I sure wasn't using them right in my old days. Maybe "if I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?" wasn't the best choice....  :-)
PedroGonzales
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PedroGonzales,
User Rank: Ninja
9/4/2014 | 1:36:21 PM
Re: Even if it's bad it's good
@Susan. I agree with you, that is just too ofensive.  I funny and original pick up line may work.  So far, none of my friends use any pickup lines.  May be the geeky ones work.
Susan_Nunziata
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Susan_Nunziata,
User Rank: Strategist
9/3/2014 | 6:30:43 PM
Re: Even if it's bad it's good
@PedroGonzales: That's great! I might actually speak to a guy who said that to me, rather than throwing my drink at him--which is what would happen if anyone tried No. 10 on me. LOL.
Laurianne
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Laurianne,
User Rank: Author
9/3/2014 | 10:12:14 AM
Re: Even if it's bad it's good
I like the Wi-Fi line the best. I can just hear Ron Burgundy using it...
PedroGonzales
IW Pick
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PedroGonzales,
User Rank: Ninja
9/2/2014 | 10:31:49 PM
Re: Even if it's bad it's good
These are really funny pick up lines.  My favorite one is you are the apple of my imac.
Thomas Claburn
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Thomas Claburn,
User Rank: Author
9/2/2014 | 6:43:31 PM
Re: Even if it's bad it's good
Certainly the worst would be any pickup line that employs the word "Microsoft."
Shane M. O'Neill
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Shane M. O'Neill,
User Rank: Author
9/2/2014 | 3:54:03 PM
Even if it's bad it's good
C'mon folks, this is a no-brainer. Let's hear some of your best (and worst) tech-themed pickup lines. Let me help. I have two words: Hot-plug and hard drive. Run with it.
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